Crapshoot: Street Fighting Man, the most polite beat-em-up ever

From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random obscure games back into the light. This week, in sleepy London Town there’s just no place for a street fighting man, no. Luckily, Detroit, New York and some other places have an opening…

Vigilante justice. It’s a bit rough, isn’t it? Tough guys stripping down to muscled chests to have their Final Fight on some Streets of Rage in the middle of some Urban Chaos and all that. Wouldn’t it be nice if gang violence was a little more… civil? Warriors, go back inside and tidy your bedrooms! Droogs, drink your milk. A Man is coming. A Street Fighting Man. He Fights Streets. And he’ll be ‘Aven-you.

Street Fighting Man (which has nothing to do with Street Fighter other than coming out a couple of years after it, in what I Am Sure Is A Complete Coincidence) is the mildest beat-em-up I’ve ever played. If it was a curry, it would be a bowl of water with a single grain of rice floating in it. As a superhero, its mutant power would be filling in income tax self-assessment forms at a slightly faster than normal rate. 

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